Hold on! The suction from this fiscal Black Hole is becoming implacable as we’re yanked toward its terminal Event Horizon…

In the dimly remembered historical mists of last year, the global size of the expanding derivatives bubble was calculated at $190,000 per POP (Person-On-Planet). Now going supernova, this expanding cloud of hot currency gases has – oops! – jumped to $206,000 per POP.

This is because all those pesky derivatives settlements are still coming due like a clockwork nightmare of compounding debt – along with no-one-knows how many “off-balance-sheet” banking swindles that are fast outpacing taxpayer ransoms, nose-diving tax revenues, and a striking lack of interest by foreign investors in buying more U.S. and British debt at zero rates of return.

(The Fed hopes you can come up with that 206 grand right away. Please put your next contribution in the bankers’ collection basket as it comes around again.)

Meanwhile, the next three generations of U.S. taxpayers (many as yet unborn) are being extorted to continue bailing out failed corporate states like All In Greed (AIG). So far, hostage salary slaves have forked over $150 billion to cover AIG management’s Credit Default Swaps and other claims on that rotting corpse’s derivative “exposure” currently being demanded by the largest and equally desperate Banks-On-Planet (BOP).

And that’s just one. Attempting to bail out all rapidly submerging BOPs is like bailing the Titanic with a kiddy beach bucket. Can’t be done. Will never be done. Why? Because, captain, the HOLE IS TOO DAMN BIG!

How big?

Latest damage reports indicate we are heavily listing from so-far-admitted Credit Derivatives still to come due at $542,000,000,000 ($542 trillion). This is more cash than is available in the entire known galaxy, at least as far out as Sigma Centuri. Nor are there enough trees left on this clear-cut planet to print that much cash.

Add to this gargantuan gambling debt another $863,000,000,000 ($863 trillion) for Over-The-Counter derivatives, which must also be paid to all the computers programmed with this Byzantine Ponzi scheme, and “who” are now firmly in control of our governments, banks and collective destiny.

By the way, the longer you, your spouse and infant daughter delay in paying the $618,000 you owe on this digital debt, the faster the remaining derivatives are compounding. Since you last blinked, they’re UP 44% to more than ONE QUADRILLION DOLLARS. The water’s rising fast!

These largish openings in our financial hull include:

1. Interest Rate Derivatives around $458+ trillion (UP 16%)
2. Credit Default Swaps around $57+ trillion (DOWN 1%)
3. Foreign Exchange Derivatives around $62+ trillion (UP 10%)
4. Commodity Derivatives around $13+ trillion (UP 44%)
5. Equity Linked Derivatives around $10+ trillion (UP 17%)
6. Unallocated Derivatives around $81+ trillion (UP 4%).

The subprime mortgage default freak-out garnering so much media obsession is a measly $1.5 trillion shortfall within a $5 trillion mortgage-assets pile-up. Which in turn is just uno small component of an “overwhelming” global crisis coming on “with unprecedented scale, speed, severity” and self-reinforcing synchronicity.

So observes Nathan Martin from his economic edge blogspot. Since last year, Martin mentions, the banking elite’s perfidy “has wiped a staggering $50 trillion” off the value of currency, equity and bond markets worldwide.”

That’s a lot.

(And we haven’t even mentioned the fast-intersecting vectors of crop-killing Climate Shift and Peak Oil.)

So far, no arrests of the crooks responsible have been made. Instead, they’ve been awarded with multi-million dollar bonuses! (Of course, if you’re going hungry and steal a third pizza in LA, you face doing serious hard time as indentured prison labor making blue jeans to compete with the Chinese – whose billion plus pissed off boomers are Out Of Work, Out Of Water and Out Of Luck.)

Bloomberg and Martin report that Washington has so far “spent, lent or committed” $13 trillion to dealing with the collateral damage from this busted Quadrillion Dollar Play. Ongoing commitments to endless wars, trade deficits, bailouts and other corporate welfare subsidies make the resulting U.S. vigorish nonsensical. Forget ailing Asia, bankrupt Britain and eviscerated Eastern Europe. There’s just not enough juice left in the system to avoid a Quite Big Shakeout. (Can you say, “One World Currency”?)

In other words, we are so broke.

Meanwhile, U.S. judges are throwing out foreclosures sought by lenders who no longer hold “illegally securitized loans.” Angry, savvy homeowners are also using predatory lending statutes to defend themselves against foreclosure, or apply for redress if they’ve already lost their homes.

“Substantial damages can be won if the homeowner can prove that the loan was made purely for the lender’s sole benefit,” Bloomberg advises. [bloomberg.com Mar 31/09]

So look for class actions charging fraudulent misrepresentation and predatory practices in neighborhoods near you. Even borrowing off-planet and converting Reguluian rubles into greenbacks, there is not enough cash in 10 solar systems to save lenders from millions of homeowners suing en masse to regain the titles to their homes.

Those “lenders” of course, are… the banks.

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